In the Spirit of Becoming

As we get older, we continually add to our roles in life. I am currently filled with the spirit of Belle Price who recently passed down to me the mantle of family matriarch. Mind you, I am not the bloodline matriarch, but I have all the credentials. Belle lived into her 99th year. She was the mother of two, grandmother of three and great-grandmother of five. She was a widow for 32 years and the length of her widowhood only underlined the beauty of her marriage. Hers was not a stunningly remarkable life, but it was a good life, a full life and, most important, a life filled with great love. She didn't have a high-powered job, she didn't finish high school, but she taught all of us--especially me, her favorite daughter-in-law (all right, I was the only one)--that the real jobs we have are those that take place in the closest of circumstances. Face to face, voice to voice and situation to situation.

What do we learn from such a lady? She was the family worrier, which gave her the responsibility of praying for all souls in her care every night before she went to sleep. She was usually up late into the night. She was not a religious woman but she believed in the conversation of prayer. She thought that if you discussed the situation with God, then God would be aware that Belle Price was pleased (or not) and should take care of it. More important, if you can imagine, the people she prayed for knew that someone else was watching out for them. She was confident that all people in her care were the best, the kindest and the most accomplished. While doing that service, she did her other job, which was to guide you in the ways of comfort (food), sleep (put your feet up, dear) and laughter. She had the heartiest laugh for a woman 4 feet 10 inches tall with a build slightly more statuesque than a 12- year-old. A hugger of the body and the heart, as she aged she became an advocate for putting your soul in order. When you went to see her you put on your best spirit and your brightest smile. You held her hand and left feeling that she was your comfort. Her words deteriorated to a few. They were important ones. Always "I love you" and "thank you," and as I blessed her when I left, she had the last word and blessed me back.

I have inherited big shoes to fill from such tiny feet. But perhaps in this case, the size of the heart is the true measure.

I would wish that every reader (or more generously, everyone) has a spirit in his or her life to become. Mentors are rare, and sometimes we miss them. We don't recognize them or value our time with them. I almost missed my opportunity with Belle. We are all busy and important to so many people -- caught in the sandwich generation of giving care to so many people -- that we forget to find the one person who takes care of us in some way. Finding that person means we get a chance to learn at his or her side.

We become many things in our lives. We grow up, we get a job, we have friends and family, and so many roles. I became the matriarch of my family -- the oldest, the authority woman. I was lucky I had a great teacher and a friend, and I miss her every day. My responsibility to her and to mine is that now I get to pass it on. Life is good! She taught me that with great spirit.